Today, I am joining a couple of Awesome Bloggers, Shay and Erika for their Workin' It Wednesday Series! We are sharing How We Make our Marriage Work...
Let me start off by saying I am not an expert in the marriage department!
However, Ben and I have been married for a little over 13 years, so we must be doing something right! :)
Let me mention that we keep God first and foremost in our marriage! Marriage is hard enough. I couldn't even imagine not having the good Lord front and certain!
Here are 3 other ways that Ben and I work on keeping our marriage strong!
I don't know about you but God didn't give Ben and I the ability to read minds so we have to tell each other how we feel and what we expect from each other! We have to communicate our needs, wants, desires! Yes, lots of our topic of conversations are about the kids because at the ages of 12 and 9 our current lives revolve around Ian and Ella!
We talk about our future, money, plans for vacation. Ben and I talk ALOT!
We understand that we need other people to communicate with besides each other and the kids! He understands that I need girls night out and I understand when he needs an afternoon on the golf course!
We communicate throughout the day! It might be a quick text saying I Love You or hope your day is going well! It could be a 30 minute conversation on the way to one of his appointments!
We date. It's not always a night out on the town or a movie. Sometimes, we have "deck date nights". Usually the kids are asleep or watching a movie and we just sit on our back deck. He smokes a cigar and I enjoy a glass of wine! BUT we get to have an adult conversation with no interruptions.
My point is....We Communicate.
I don't expect Ben to know how I feel or what I want or need! That's why I tell him! And trust me he does the same! We may not always like each other's opinions or thoughts but we always encourage the other to share them!
I trust Ben with my life. Ben trust me with his life.
We trust each other with our thoughts and feelings.
Ben handles our finances. I handle the household
We trust each other to make the best decisions possible in those areas
We do communicate about them. But overall, we trust the other to make the "final" decisions in those areas.
For instance, I'm at the kids school all the time, so he trust me to make the right request for their teachers, classes, etc for the kids.
Numbers are Ben's thing....(hello sales manager), so I trust him to make the best decisions with our money...401k, investments, buying a car, etc!
Does that make sense??
Again, Communication is our key! We never make any major decisions in life without talking to each other first!
My Point is....We Trust Each Other
About 7 years ago or so, Ben and I fell into a "rut"....We were just not getting each other, we were arguing a lot, we were just not "ourselves"
So we found these books by H. Norman Wright
These books were very eye opening for me! I had forgotten how important intimacy was for Ben. I was a stay at home mama to 2 little kiddos who needed me all the time. The last thing I wanted to do at night was have sex. I didn't want to meet any more needs for that day!
But after reading this book, I quickly changed my mindset. I realized that I needed that contact with Ben just as much as he needed it with me.
Sometimes sex is planned, sometimes it is not, sometimes it starts with a flirty text.
I know this topic is private and a sensitive subject. But I just wanted to share that is a big key in making our marriage work.
My Point is... We are Intimate
We make it an important part of our marriage.
It's not always hugs and kisses over here. Some days, I want to knock him upside his head! I drive him crazy with all my crazy ideas. I'm always planning something...a party, a vacation, a night out. Sometimes, I'm over the top and all he sees is dollar signs! HA
But again we talk it out and everything eventually goes back to normal!
Disclaimer....this is not my normal blog topics. I started not to share my ideas but I'm trying to "branch out' on my topics, so this was a start!
I can't wait to see how y'all keep your marriage strong!